Church Bloopers
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching For Jesus."
"This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Jones to come forward and lay an egg on the alter."
"The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir."
"The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done."
"Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance."
The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.
The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
How is life like a roll of toilet paper? The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes!